21st BDay in Vegas, WOOT WOOT!!

Everyone keeps asking me how Vegas was. It was really hot, and I didn't win a damn thing, but if I had to describe my trip to Las Vegas with one word, that one word would be DRUNK. This is how it went.

Tuesday - On the way there, a woman bought me a Jack & Coke. It was great, I started the night off early and in the air. We didn't get into town until about 10:30pm. Our flight was delayed an hour. Now, at 10:30 at night it was still 115* outside, so you can only imagine what it was like there. We met up with my dad and brother at baggage claim. I have an older brother whom I'de never met until then. His name is Nick, he's 23, lives in California and in the army. He was pretty cool. Cocky, but alright.  We got our shit and headed to the hotel. We stayed at the Stratosphere, which is the tallest building on the West Coast. It was gianormous. We got to our rooms, got ready for the night and took a cab to the MGM.

 My dad was pretty pissed the whole time because there was a bar that he wanted to take me to at that peticular hotel that was recently replaced with something like a lion cage or something. He mentioned it a few times a day every day. So we headed to a different bar and waited untill the stroke of midnight. I ordered another Jack & Coke. It was so great because every bar that I went to that night and Wednesday was handing me free drinks. Feckin awesome if you ask me. Aftwards we went to NY NY. I don't really remember much after that. You'll have to excuse me though, I had drinks thrown at me all night. =) 

Wednesday -  Wednesday was crazy. We got up and headed straight to the self proclaimed  biggest liquor and gift shop on the face of the planet. I aint be rememberin' the name. My dad spent $300 on booze there, including a half gallon of Smirnoff Raseberry Vodka for Amy. I took a picture of her with the vodka wrapped up in a towel, cradling it like a baby. Then we went to Wal*Mart to pick up some chasers, coolers, and asprin. Roger kept calling them our vitamins, heh. Well, at the Wal*Mart in Las Vegas they sell alchohol. As soon as we get there he starts throwing fifths in the cart. He kept saying, "We just can't let the soberiety beast get us." Amy kept calling him a rock star.

We took the shit back to my dad's hotel room which was conviniently located right across the hallway from me and Amy. We didn't leave till all four of us were good and trashed, and then ventured to "Old Vegas" which is the original strip. We kept going to all the casinos, getting my free drink, a player's card, and a book of matches, and then moved on to the next. We stopped at the Golden Nugget for a nice dinner. Our waitress sang happy birthday to me in showgirl style, despite me calling her a bitch earlier in the night.

After dinner Amy and I went to a casino/bar called MERMAIDS. It was small and hot in there, but they kept giving us free beer! Well worth it if you ask me. Amy played a bit, and then we went next door to some strip club where my dad was harassing the hostess. I couldn't remember the name of it if you paid me but I kept refering to it as The Golden Guche. Amy and I went in and it was a 2 drink minimum club. We ordered a few, and then a stripper asked us if we wanted a lesbian lover dance. I laughed and then told her no. So we spent $37 on drinks and then Nick walks in and tells us it's time to leave. We were so pissed that we got dragged out of a titty bar by two drunk men. We went back to the hotel, to the bar, and then to bed.

Thursday - We started Thursday with some good ass breakfast at the pool. Mine consisted of pineapple, oranges, strawberries, whipped cream, cherries, and lots 'o rum. Just as we finished our drinks, I told Amy that we should go back to my dad's room, fix a few drinks, and then come back. Not two seconds after I said that I turned around and here comes my dad with two handfulls of drinks and a smile. I got a pretty good buzz for being awake for such a small amount of time.

After the pool, we went back to our rooms and got ready for the day...meaning we went to my dad's room again to "kill that sobriety beast." Nick made me three more and we headed downstairs to the friggin shopping mall which was a floor above the casino. That place was great. It's the only place that I've ever been to where you can shop with a beer in one hand & a cigarette in the other.  Then we found a FAT TUESDAY.  I ordered a 190 Octane with an extra shot. About halfway through the drink I was beligerant and talking to everyone within 10 feet of me. My dad found us sitting at the bar and stole us to go buy us some pizza. We ate and I didn't lose one bit of my buzz. I was having a grand old time when Amy and I went to the next bar. I ordered a beer, and suddenly I was spinning. Amy took me back to the room, where I puked and passed out for three hours. We didn't know what to do with the puke, and it made our room smell like pizza. I really wanted to just take the bucket, put it on an empty elevator, push all the buttons and send it on it's way, but there were camera's everywhere, and I didn't want any shit. 

Friday - Friday I was back in the game. But by this time, Nick had met a few girls and was MIA. That left me and Amy with my dad. Around 3 we went to the Rio for lunch/dinner. If I had to suggest anywhere to eat in Vegas, it would have to be the Rio. They had the biggest buffet I've ever seen in my life, with any food you could ever want. We all ate till we thought we were going to die. Afterwards is when the day went downhill. You see, my dad took us on a NINE AND A HALF HOUR FUCKING WALK through Vegas. Yeah, he did tell me that I needed to bring comfortable shoes to walk in, and yeah we did get to see some great stuff. But when we left the Stratosphere I was under the impression that we were going to eat, and then back to the hotel to meet up with Nick. But instead he took us to a million casino's to get our players cards and a match book. If I had known I was going on a tour-o-rauma I would have worn something different. Plus, it was freaking Friday night in Vegas the week I turned 21. I wanted to party. 

By 10:30, my foam flip flops were completely flat, I had a giant blister on the bottom of my foot and Amy was getting cranky. He asked us what we wanted to do, and I said I wanted to go back to the hotel to change my shoes. Two hours later we got back to the car. Don't ask me how. By this time, I was straight pissed.

We get back to the hotel, and Amy and I sit down and think about this. Okay...Dad's in tourist mode, and I wanna party. Hmmmm....So Amy and I devise a plan to wait for a half an hour, then get ready and go out for the night and not tell dad about it. So we do our thing, and super sneaky and ninja like, we go to the casino to catch a cab from the front doors. We get 3/4's of the way there, and who do I see sitting at a slot machine right in front of the exit? The one and only Roger Arnold. Amy and I both ran in the opposite direction and realized there was no way around this. We were caught. So, I just go up to dad and say, "Welp, we're going out. what are you doing tonight?" This was the first time on the trip that he wasn't wearing a hawian shirt and shorts. He was dressed kinda nice. He just smiled, stood up and hugged me. He told me to be careful and that he loved me.  I felt kind of bad, but he had to expect it. I wasn't gonna go on another 8 day tour.

So Amy and I went back to the MGM, and we ordered some drinks. We didn't feel like hanging there, so we walked across the street to the NY NY. They had a Coyote Ugly there and we both wanted to see it. We both ordered another one of the slushie type deals like they had at Fat Tuesday's and went down stairs where everyone was partying. The problem with all the people there was that I thought they were all gay. There was a ton of cute boys but I swear to you, none of them swung my way. Amy says they were just metrosexuals, but in my opinion there really isn't a difference. At this point were damn bored and went back to the hotel. The drinks were cheaper and when we wanted to retire for the night we could do it easier there.

 So we're sitting at the bar, and just as I'm about to fall asleep this tall, beautiful man with an irish accent approaches us. "What do you girls think I do for a living?," he asks.

"I aint be knowin." I replied.

"Well, I'm a cop.... But I tell you what, I'll do more lines of coke than anyone at this bar!" He exclaims.

He then bought us a round of shots of tequilla. I hate tequilla. But one shot of tequilla is enough to give my buzz a jumpstart...so I take it, as does Amy.  He sips on his and asks us to come and play a game with him. We agree, and head to the black jack tables. I look over to my right, and sure as shit I see my freakin dad at a slot machine. I have NO idea if he saw us or not but he never mentioned it.  So drunk irish guy lays down a $20 and gets four pink chips. He gives me one, Amy one, and keeps two. He somewhat taught us how to play and we ended up winning. He split it up and let us keep our winnings. Something like $23 a piece. That was awesome. So we ended up sitting at the bar with him till 6am. He came back to our room and meowed the Amy. I say his name was Al. Amy thinks it may have been Hal. I aint be knowin. He was a good time though.

Saturday -  We didn't get up till about noon on Saturday. By that time Nick had about a dozen of his friends in his and my Dad's room and they were all shitfaced. They really weren't my crowd, and most of them looked at Amy and I like "what the fuck are you two doing here?" I've never seen my dad so trashed. We all went for lunch to the Burger king across the street from the hotel. My dad's moto for the day was "If I'm going to hang with the kids, I'm going to act like the kids." Oh, and the whole kill the sobriety beast thing. I only heard him say it about 800 times while we were there. He started a food fight. Nick's friend had to come over and eat my dad's fries so he would stop throwing them at people. We walked back to the hotel afterwards and ditched them. I didn't want to hang out with my dad while he was hitting on all the 22 year old drunk girls that Nick invited.

Amy and I took a nap. We had only had a few hours of sleep during the whole week and wanted to be able to hang for the rest of the night. When we woke up we went back down to Fat Tuesday's to get a headstart on the night. While we were in our rooms getting ready, my dad knocks at the door. Him and Nick stumble in, wrestle around our room, and hold down Amy and I and tickle us till we are screaming at the top of our lungs. At this time we decided that we weren't going to be hanging out with them AT ALL. Being drunk is fun, but being that rediculously in a large group of people just isn't my thing. We go to their room to get some more drinks, and there are twice the amount of people there than before, including an extreme metrosexual who can't stop asking me about my "O" ring collar and if I brought a leash with me. I think he was trying to hit on me, but the biggest turn off in the world is when your dad is not only 2 feet next to you, but also then tells you how you get your freaky-ness from his side of the family. Bleh.

So we went out alone again. We went to Paris and had a really nice time. We got really drunk and went to this bar with dueling pianos. It was great. We left there and went to the Hard Rock Cafe. I loved it. It was packed but it was the only place I heard good music at. Plus, they had a bar called THE PINK TACO. We had a great time at the taco. We were both very drunk, and kind of Vegased out by the time we left. We went back to the hotel, got some food, and went to bed.

Sunday - Sunday our flight was scheduled to leave Vegas at 11:50. We didnt wake up till about 10. And didn't realize that we were missing our flight till about 10:30. My dad spent an extra $400 getting us home. Whatever though. He's the one who booked the flight. I had no idea what time anything was. We spent 2 and a half hours at the airport. My dad's flight left a few hours before ours, so we had to hang out there. We saw Butt Cheeks McGee. We ate goooo Mexican food. And  I  bought Jenna Jameson's autobiography at the Border's there. I have to say, I can't put it down.

The flight was long. Between being at the airport, boardign the plane, riding, and landing, it took us 6 freaking hours to get home.

I had a great time in Vegas. At least I will have a 21st to remember. I'm glad I took Amy. She knows whats up. Yap.

I have to sleep now. Goooo night.